Senator Richard Blumenthal is hunting for headlines, not justice. The sudden "moral urgency" to investigate South Dakota Governor Kristi Noem for perjury regarding her memoir, No Going Back, is a masterclass in political theater designed to distract from the utter toothlessness of modern legislative oversight. While the media salivates over the prospect of a high-profile "gotcha" moment, they are missing the mechanical reality of how perjury actually works in the American legal system.
The lazy consensus suggests that because Noem included a dubious anecdote about meeting Kim Jong Un—an anecdote her team later retracted as an error—she has committed a crime that warrants federal intervention. This isn't just a reach; it’s a fundamental misunderstanding of the materiality requirement in perjury law.
The Materiality Gap
To convict someone of perjury under 18 U.S.C. § 1621, you don't just need a lie. You need a "willful" statement concerning a "material matter" made under oath. A mistake in a political memoir—even a delusional one—is not a sworn statement to a grand jury or a congressional committee. Blumenthal is attempting to bridge the gap between "political embellishment" and "criminal conduct" using a bridge made of wet tissue paper.
I have seen this cycle repeat for decades in D.C. A politician gets caught in a vanity-fueled lie. The opposition party screams "perjury" to signal virtue to their base. The media treats it as a legitimate legal threat. In reality, the bar for proving intent is astronomical. To prove Noem committed perjury, you would have to prove she intentionally lied with the specific aim of influencing a formal proceeding. A book tour is not a formal proceeding. It is a marketing exercise.
Why the "Investigation" is a Resource Drain
Every hour the Senate Judiciary Committee spends posturing about Noem’s ghostwritten errors is an hour they aren't spending on the actual rot in the administrative state. The obsession with "accountability" for Noem is a shiny object. It feels good to the Twitter mob, but it accomplishes zero for the rule of law.
Consider the mechanics of a federal investigation. You have:
- FBI Field Agents assigned to interview publishers and editors.
- Department of Justice (DOJ) Attorneys reviewing thousands of pages of drafts.
- Congressional Subpoenas that will be fought in court for years.
All of this for what? To prove that a politician has an ego? That’s like investigating a fish for being wet. We are watching the weaponization of the "Perjury Trap"—a tactic where the goal isn't to punish a crime, but to force a target into making a secondary, minor mistake during the investigation itself. It is a circular logic that feeds the bureaucracy while starving the public of substantive governance.
The Myth of the "Infallible Record"
The outrage machine operates on the premise that political memoirs are meant to be historical records. This is the first lie you need to unlearn. A memoir is a campaign brochure with a spine.
When a candidate writes a book, they are crafting a narrative. If we started investigating every politician who "misremembered" a meeting or "embellished" their involvement in a bill, the entire Capitol would be under indictment. Blumenthal’s push implies that Noem’s error is uniquely dangerous. It isn't. It’s uniquely sloppy. There is a massive difference between being a bad author and being a criminal.
By framing this as a legal crisis, the "insiders" are actually protecting the status quo. They want you to believe that the system is working because they are "holding her feet to the fire." In reality, they are just warming their hands by the flame of a non-story while the house burns down.
The Ghostwriter Defense
In the high-stakes world of political publishing, the principal rarely types the words. The "I relied on my staff" or "the ghostwriter misunderstood the anecdote" defense is nearly impenetrable in a court of law. To secure a conviction, the prosecution must show that the defendant had actual knowledge of the falsity at the moment of publication and intended to deceive.
If Noem claims she gave a verbal briefing and the writer "interpreted" it incorrectly, the case dies. Blumenthal knows this. Every lawyer in the Senate knows this. The fact that they are pushing for an investigation anyway tells you that the goal isn't a conviction—it's the process. The process is the punishment. They want to keep her name in the news cycle associated with the word "perjury" until the next election cycle.
Stop Asking if She Lied
The question "Did Kristi Noem lie?" is the wrong question. Of course she did, or her team did, or the process failed. The real question is: "Why are we pretending this is a federal case?"
We have become a country that treats political gaffes as felonies because we’ve lost the ability to defeat opponents on policy. If you hate Noem’s policies, vote against her. If you think she’s a liar, don't buy her book. But when you start calling for the DOJ to step in because of a botched anecdote about a North Korean dictator, you are inviting a level of state overreach that will eventually come for your "side" too.
The Danger of Lowering the Bar
When we lower the definition of perjury to include "saying something stupid in a book," we devalue the actual crime of perjury. True perjury happens when a corporate CEO lies about toxic dumping. It happens when a high-ranking official lies about illegal surveillance programs.
By chasing Noem, Blumenthal is teaching the public that "perjury" is just another word for "political disagreement." This cynicism is more dangerous to the Republic than a hundred fake stories about Kim Jong Un. It turns the legal system into a playground for partisan bickering.
The Actionable Truth
If you want actual accountability, stop feeding the outrage cycle. Here is what we should be doing instead of cheering for a pointless investigation:
- Demand Narrower Subpoena Power: Limit the ability of committees to launch "discovery expeditions" based on non-official statements.
- Focus on Materiality: Insist that the DOJ only pursue cases where the lie resulted in actual, quantifiable harm to a government function.
- Ignore the Performance: Treat the Blumenthal press releases as what they are: campaign fundraising fodder.
The crusade against Kristi Noem isn't about the truth. It's about the optics of the truth. It’s a distraction staged by people who have failed to solve the border, failed to curb inflation, and failed to maintain a coherent foreign policy. They want you focused on a dog-killing, Kim Jong Un-meeting governor because it’s easier than explaining why the country is $34 trillion in debt.
Don't fall for the trap. Let the book go to the bargain bin where it belongs and stop pretending that every political lie is a constitutional crisis.
Stop looking for a savior in a silk suit and start looking at the statute books.
